The world is filled with 2 kinds of people - This is
equally true for parents as well. One group keeps regaling you with horrors of
parenting at every chance they get. They tell you about the rising cost of vaccines,
diapers, PediaSure and tuition fees. They keep complaining about how they never
get a couple time or “Me” time anymore.
On the other hand are parents who tell you how
perfect their child is! They keep telling you how they have never felt closer
to their spouse. They even keep on telling you why every couple should have
more kids. They always keep talking about how happy they are all the time and how
they find little things rewarding.
1.
Becoming
a FAMILY
As for me, I am a mixture of both these kind, having
DS actually changed my life. It made my marriage better. He gave a stronger sense
of being a “family.” When we were “just married and without DS, life seemed
like we were still dating. Now we live together and keep remind the other about
whose turn it is to manage DS. We earn, spent and then we keep the extra money.
There are many things that we still enjoy doing on our own. All these felt so
good and made us feel that we were dating in a serious way.
The moment we learnt, we were pregnant, life changed.
We were concerned about the money, how to earn more and save more. The whole
pregnancy we kept talking about what values we want in our child and we still
argue on that. We kept weaving new dreams of the child and our family. The best
part was DH was getting more concerned; he kept tagging me wherever I would go
and this till goes on. My difficult pregnancy made me more patients and taught
me to depend on my DH, as I did never before. It taught him that I need him in every
other ways.
The bad part was we officially stopped to just being
the children to our parents as soon as the baby arrived. But then again the
good part was we made our set of rules, our own goals, and our own path to
victory.
2.
Becoming
better resource managers
We did start talking about money more than before,
but the baby’s arrival reminded us that our health insurance should always be in
good shape and we have proper savings for every sort of emergencies. We
discussed every purchase we did and.
With the passing of every day, we become experts at
time management, since as the baby grew he was demanding more in every sense of
the word. Our need to sleep, eat and even taking a bath was new exercise to
display our creativity and magic. Then again, squeezing in the ‘ME’ time and
‘US’ time was very difficult but we needed it to maintain our sanity and love
for each other. Today we already have routines and things work out
automatically.
3.
We
became a stronger team
My DH helps me a lot while caring for our DS, even
though I stay at home. I in turn plan well to stay within our budget and try to
have some savings each month. We keep talking to other parents about how they
are dealing with their child and have little decisions on handling parenting issues.
We talk about disciplining our child, setting our limitations, and our
expectations. We ensure that we get involved with DS equally and take charge
when the other one gets slack.
4.
We
started being more health-conscious
We want to be there for our DS every time and because
of our desire we wanted to be healthy, we have brought many changes in our living.
We are skipping on sodas and have stopped indulging in junk food. We indulge
more in vegetables and keenly aware that if one of us gets sick, it does not infect
the whole family. We are still in the process of learning more about each other.
In the end, it is up to the couple whether a child
will make or break their marriage. I am just thankful that my DH who has been
there throughout celebrating the challenges of parenthood and make our
partnership stronger with each passing day. We have decided that as a team our
home should have a learning environment and that we end up being far less
stressed and enjoy our company with DS.
