Meal Time = Emotional War

I am busy in an emotional war started by my DS. Yes! you guessed it right MEAL TIME EMOTIONAL ATTYACHAR (Hindi for Torture)
This has resulted in immense damage to my energy and definitely my mood.

Life feels Aweful without kids around

The session break is here finally and DS was promoted to Nursery. WOW! Nursery already!

In the morning around 9:00 am, DS was ready with his bag and toothbrush in pocket and off he goes to his Granma.

The moment the car disappeared from my eyes, I started dancing. I was probably the happiest person I have ever known. The house was suddenly quite, the house was all for me, and guess what I did not know what to do first – have insomnia or just go slumber.

I am a WAHM and after every 15 mins, I need to be a tickle monster. Therefore, this trip of my DS was so much welcome for both my DH and me. We were ecstatic. We were sad that we would not see our DS for a couple of days but the thought of being all to ourselves was overwhelming.

This was our first night alone, and one of my friends calls me up and I told her I was home alone. She asked if we were devastated. “I cannot explain how severely depressed I am? I said, “I feel I’ve lost my limb.” Though I sounded overdramatic, she heard the satire in my voice.

The first day was complete with fun, but as the second day arrived, I began to grow restless. The day was blissful and we did everything we wanted. This also included some good hours of computer time. Then in the afternoon, I felt I heard DS’s voice calling me.

I should have been feeling liberated, and should have been doing something amazing with my time. However, what is this happening to be?

My mind went blank and I had no other option but to take a break. As I started running on my treadmill, I stared across the room. The dining room was clutter-free and the floor looked freshly swept. Although the room was, clutter free and pleasant but I felt something was missing.

I felt that the table looks better when covered with kids’ stuff. I felt like getting the cereal box out and scattering it across the floor to make my house look like it always looks – Not like this EMPTY. I felt I enjoyed that happy chaotic mess, than this lonely stupidity. Without him not only, me even the house looks hauntingly EMPTY.

The next morning, I woke up all alone in the bed. DH was already up and was in the porch with his ciggi staring at specifically nothing but the sky. He looked disturbed, glanced at the closed door behind me, and wished if DS could just burst through it, rubbing his sleepy eyes and smiles at us wishing us “Goo Mornin” in his precious voice. The house now looks not only stupid but also senseless with DS. 

All this time, unknowingly the motions and the rhythms of parenthood have been imprinting themselves onto our brains. Now they have become involuntary – Almost like a reflex. Parenting is a part of us now. It is no more, what we do, but what we are!

As soon as DH finishing his morning cup of tea, he got up and said, “Jaanu*, let’s go get him home, Life feels stupid without him around.”

*Jaanu -  Something precious than Jaan (life) Yes, that is what my DH calls me ;)


Images -
Thanks to  athomearkansas

The Best Part Of A Mom’s Day

Its almost lunch time but I am suddenly filled with a whole lot of energy. I get out of my house, and walk for a few minutes. On the way I pass by a mandir with numerous ladies and their shiny brass "Lota." Next comes the bustling bazaar -  Yes the TYPICAL Sabji market of India. Right after is a series of new and upcoming apartments. When I came here a couple of years ago, these places had old shabby single storied houses. Right next to this block is a National Bank. People, people and more people and the variety sound, but my vision was quite blur and nothing was reaching my ears. Its a walk where I pass through so many turns and still I wonder how I remember to take every turn needed until I reach THE SCHOOL.

As soon I reach, a tall and stern man greets me and asks for the card -  Yes, schools these day do not let you take your own child without the allotted Identity Card. He takes the card and gets inside the locked huge brown wooden door.

Slowly, the door opens and out comes the tiny little man looking a little more grown up. Managing his water bottle, his bag and his tiny self all ALONE. I watch him from a distance as he manages everything and bade good bye to his teachers.

“Pssst….” I quietly said, after waiting a few moments to take in him surprised.

I see his messy hair, rolled down sock, t-shirt moved away from position - must have been fighting I wonder!

“Mamma!”

He runs over, arms wide open, with smiles galore.

All the veil lifts, and I kneel down to pick him up. He gives me the biggest bear hug.

“Kissi-kissi,” he says to me, and I perk up my lips. He smacks a juicy one on the corner of my mouth.

“Mamma, I want to walk,” he posits. So I put him down.

“Mamma hold my hand, please!”

His tiny little right hand reaches out, and grabs mine tight.

“Run, run, run, Baby,” I say to him, and he trots along, giggling.

As  we reach the bazaar he chirps in “Mamma candy!”
Someday I convince him that he can have candy once we reach home and he finishes his lunch, while on others I have to buy him "2 candy."

I keep singing his rhymes and the alphabet song all day long.

“Shhhhh Mamma. No singing.”

As we reach home he climbs back and leans over to give me another kiss, and says, “Big Bear Hug,” as he holds her arms open wide. Once again we embrace as we climb up stares - Oh! I climb.

That’s the sweet part of any mom’s day, when your kids just make you feel how much they missed you, how much they love you.

I believe this is the best time of other moms as well. Time when they get back with their kid.

When is the sweet part of your working mom day?